Thursday, 13th May 2021

Twitter user responding to absolutely anything with a death threat

A MAN who has spent too much time on Twitter now believes it is normal to respond to any minor annoyance with calls for murder.

Roy Hobbs began his death threat hobby by tweeting that the local council should be executed for their wheelie bin policy, and now responds to any event with a bloodthirsty overreaction.

Office manager Hobbs said: “If I’m pissed of with the number of crisps in a packet from Walkers, then I tweet that Gary Lineker deserves to be shot. That’s reasonable.

“I’ve also sent death threats to my local optician because they couldn’t squeeze me in on a Wednesday and to Ocado when they said my shopping was going to be delivered late.

“I know it’s an automated response but I now find it impossible to communicate in anything other than this dickish, knee-jerk way, usually involving anyone in the news being ‘strung up’.

“In fact it feels totally normal to tell everyone that Ed Sheeran’s head should be put on a spike, even though in real life it would be incredibly horrible and evil.”