AMERICAN soccer club LA Galaxy is to create a $12 million Scouse-o-dome in the heart of California to make Steven Gerrard feel at home.
Woolybacks will be distributed around its edge
Among the attractions of the simulated city on the edge of LA will be a specially dug River Mersey using water imported from the actual Mersey and a Brookside-style cul-de-sac.
Further features will include a Tom O Connor theme park, a golf course exclusively occupied by Jimmy Tarbuck and Stan Boardman and a holographic image of Bill Shanklys head shining like the sun.
Half of the houses in the Scouse-O-Dome will be painted red, the other half blue in keeping with Gerrards home town.
The ex-Liverpool Captain will be housed in a magnificently cosy two-up, two-down terraced house with a flat-screen TV broadcasting old episodes of Bread on a permanent loop.
Gerrard can also expect to be surprised regularly by Cilla Black and to encounter comedians on every street corner, and will be further entertained by Beatles Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr jamming nightly at a specially constructed beat Club.
A spokesman for LA Galaxy said, We have high hopes that Steven Gerrard will spend two years with us scoring roughly five goals in a mildly anticlimactic end to a distinguished career.