Camping trip only planned to heighten appreciation of house

A FAMILY are spending a weekend camping in order to really appreciate their three bedroom house.

The Logans are spending three nights in a field near Delamere Forest, during which they will sleep on the cold ground, trudge across wet fields to a barbaric communal lavatory, and eat beans from a pan like refugees from a zombie apocalypse.

Tom Logan said: “Our home is rather nondescript and we can take it for granted or even resent its ordinariness. But it does have clean water, electricity and a toilet that wasn’t designed for animals.

“So every year we spend three days living inside what is essentially a plastic bag while trying not to go to the toilet so that when we come home our house seems like the Dorchester Hotel.”

Daughter Jenna Logan, aged 13, said: “It really makes you think of how refugees must be suffering and makes you glad you are not them.

“That’s it. That’s as much as I got from it.”

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Street oregano being cut with other herbs

OREGANO bought on the streets is laced with other herbs that could have devastating effects on a tomato-based sauce.

Food safety officer Emma Bradford said: “People think nothing of using oregano, particularly at weekends, but they are probably exposing themselves to trace amounts of coriander or even turmeric.

“Imagine what that could do to a pork and parmesan ravioli.”

Recreational user Julian Cook said: “I had a dinner party a few weeks ago and my wife and I decided to serve some oregano to a group of open-minded, consenting adults.

“You can imagine our terror when we started to get a basil rush halfway through the evening.

“Instead of a chilled out balsamic, woody tang, we were sweating out wave after wave of sweet peppery notes.

“Shit was fresh.”