RAIL delays this Christmas could prevent tiresome family members from coming to your house, it has emerged.
Delays are now expected across four different lines over the festive period with the South East and Brighton looking to be the worst hit.
Tom Logan said: “If the railways are down, my wife’s parents may have to remain in Surrey with their hateful opinions, rather than coming to our house for what seems like an eternity.
“I’ve always maintained that train companies are bastards but suddenly I am warming to them.”
23-year-old Wayne Hayes is equally hopefully of having his plans disrupted: “I was going to my mum’s house to sleep in my childhood bed and not have sex with my girlfriend because the walls are thin.
‘But if the trains are down I’ll have to stay in my flat, drink brandy and watch Raging Bull under a duvet. Like a free man.”