A COUPLE have grown apart after sharing a home for nearly an hour, it has emerged.
Nathan Muir and Francesca Ryan have decidedly that, although they still care a lot for each other, things just aren’t like they were when they started unpacking their stuff earlier today.
Muir said: “I’ve got a lot of happy memories of this flat – opening the door, walking in the kitchen, having a quick slash – but we started having problems when she got out a collection of Princess Diana thimbles about 20 minutes ago
“I was like ‘what the fuck are those things?’ and she sort of narrowed her eyes and she ‘I thought you’d understand my Princess of Hearts collectables’.
“We’ve barely spent a night apart over the last two years, but that whole time she was pretending to be sane.”
Ryan said: “Looking back over the fraction of a morning when we were practically married, I think the rot set in when he decided to start calling the spare room his ‘wank pit’. He acted like it was a joke but you could tell it wasn’t really.
“It is time to move on, but certainly I’ll shedding some tears as we box up the stuff that we haven’t fully unpacked yet.”