Cryptic Facebook post fails to attract any pandering comments

A CRYPTIC Facebook post about ‘fake people’ has failed to achieve a single reaction, it has been revealed.

Nikki Hollis posted: “funny how fake ppl smile in yr face but laugh behind yr back !!”, but it has been studiously ignored by every one of her 1,056 Facebook friends.

Hollis added wrote a mysterious paragraph accusing unnamed people of being ‘snakes’ and followed it up with a ‘Minions’ meme suggesting she was the victim of a betrayal.

Hollis’ friend Helen Archer said: “After she set her status as ‘sum ppl only let u down, takes the piss !!’, I messaged to check up on her. Turns out the postman had left a delivery out in the rain. I haven’t bothered since then.

“Anyway I’m not really her friend, I’m her cousin’s friend. I’ve only met her once and I honestly wish I hadn’t.”

Hollis said her next move would be to post a quote wrongly attributed to Marilyn Monroe that would allude to people ignoring her on social media.

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Virtual reality game lets player sit peacefully in the pub on their own

A NEW VR game gives players a simulated experience of being in a nice pub alone, enjoying a pint and not being bothered by anyone.

Lone Daytime Drinker gives users the choice of 18 pubs around the UK, a full range of drinks, some battered Lee Child books and more than 450 individually-rendered NPCs who will leave you blissfully alone.

Game designer Tom Logan said: “You can watch football if you want. Unremarkable Championship games, that pass the time.

“Whenever you slouch up to the bar there’s a fresh one waiting, crisps as desired, there’s no urinating next to strangers and there’s never a fucking act on.

“Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em, tabletop Galaxian, toasties, and the option of a sleeping dog. That’s DLC, an extra £8.99.

“Honestly, you won’t believe how thrilling it is just to get a bit of bloody peace and quiet. And you can put November Rain on the jukebox and nobody gives a shit.

“I do it instead of sleeping. It’s home now.”