Dad turns on mobile for second time this year

A FATHER has switched on his mobile phone and then immediately switched it off again ‘to save the battery’, it has emerged.

Martin Bishop, 62, last used his phone in January to send a message to his daughter, which read ‘HPY NW YR!’ Since then it has been kept locked in a drawer in the study so he knows where it is in case of an emergency.

Bishop’s daughter Emma said: “Mum has taken to modern technology so enthusiastically that she freely admits that she prefers playing Fruit Ninja on her iPhone to talking to her family.

“Dad, on the other hand, approaches his mobile with the kind of fear usually reserved for an unexploded bomb.

“He pretends he doesn’t like it because he’s from the analogue age, but I think really he’s scared it’s going to mysteriously start playing porn when he’s queuing in the post office.

“But maybe it’s a blessing that he never uses it. Trying to explain to him how to install the Radio 4 app took several years off my life, and probably his too.”