Dalai Lama goes off on one about sales calls

TIBET’S spiritual leader has delivered an extraordinary rant about the things that do his head in.

The Dalai Lama’s rare display of belligerent human frailty occurred in London, during an acceptance speech for the Templeton Prize for ‘affirming life’s spiritual dimension’.

He said: “I am not a special person. I spend my days mostly in quiet contemplation.

“It is during these moments, when I am tantalisingly close to nirvana, that the phone always rings.

“‘Hello,’ says the voice on the line, ‘can I speak to Mr D Lama?’

“‘He’s not in,’ I always reply, because it is fine to lie in these situations, ‘and if he was he wouldn’t be interested.’

“Then they go, ‘surely he’d be interested on saving 25% on his monthly heating bills with double glazing’. For Zen’s sake!

“I try not to hold it against them because they don’t get paid much but seriously, I mean, Buddha H Buddha, what is up with that? I suppose it’s the bosses you have to blame.

“They always used to get after my nan. One time they convinced her to have a rep round. She only said yes because she’s lonely. I hope they get reincarnated as yak testes.

“Sorry, I know it’s not a big deal compared to world peace, the thing with China etc but I can’t help it. Pfft!”

He added: “Also when you’re in a newsagent at the train station and they’re like, ‘Can I interest you in a big Mint Aero for £1?’ No you can’t, if I wanted one I’d have asked and that’s not even a particularly good deal.”

The Dalai Lama’s vituperative display fuelled rumours that Britain’s colossal amount of ambient negative spiritual energy was corrupting his inner being.

However British housewife Emma Bradford said: “I’d always found him kind of annoying, but now I reckon he’s alright.”



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