Sunday, 1st November 2020

Daughters better than sons, mums admit

MOTHERS of daughters have admitted that, despite years of pretending otherwise, having girls is miles better than having boys. 

Reasons cited included girls being less shouty, less violent, less obsessed with video games and at least trying to keep themselves slightly clean.

Mother-of-three Emma Bradford said: “So far today, Jake’s whacked me with a sword, trod on a bee and laughed, and secretly borrowed the red food colouring so he could have an ‘army war’ on the new cream carpet.

“Meanwhile Ruby’s done some colouring-in, played a nice quiet game of Dolls’ Day Out, done her reading and made a little book called ‘Why I Love You Mummy’. I mean come on. I can’t pretend any longer.

“Also, boys are always running at full tilt towards the nearest busy road or deep lake so you have to wear them out with exercise. I’ve spent years clutching discarded jumpers by the side of windswept, muddy fields.

“If you’ve only got girls you spend your Saturdays baking unicorn cupcakes, dressing them up in nice outfits and cuddling. Meanwhile Jake’s just leapt on my back and pummelled my shoulders because he was ‘being a ninja’.

“Boys are shit. Every mum knows it. End of.”