BOSSES have confirmed they want to hire people who attended fancy schools, even if they are utter morons.
Marketing company boss Norman Steele said: “I am the worst sort of aspirational tosspot, which means that as soon as a Harrovian’s CV lands on my desk I am frothing at the chance to fawn over them.
“I built this firm up from nothing because I have a massive sense of class inferiority.”
Local newspaper editor Tom Booker said: “There are some things that are just inherent to an old Etonian, like a lovely complexion.
“Even if they completely and utterly fuck everything up, they do it in the charming manner of a hapless character in a British romantic comedy.
“Some of my low to mid-level staff went to comprehensives and they’re fine but you always worry that they might bite you for no reason, like those square-headed dogs they all adore.
“And they don’t appreciate cigars, at least not on any meaningful level.”