Everyone waiting for bit of conversation where they get to talk

EVERYONE in every conversation is actually just waiting for the other person to shut up so they can talk, research has found. 

A survey found that while nobody wants to hear other people blathering on about their dull lives, everybody is more than happy to enlighten others about their own.

Nikki Hollis, from Colchester, said: “It’s so rude when people obliviously monologue about themselves. It’s like, when will it be my go to do exactly the same thing?

“When I ask my friends how they are, I don’t actually want to know the answer; I want them to say ‘fine, thanks’ so we can change the subject back to me.”

Tom Booker agreed: “In theory I should pay attention to what people say, because it could be about me, but I need to make sure my next bit’s ready so I just frown and nod.

“After all I’m the main attraction, so I need to plan how I’ll enthrall them when they finally shut the fuck up.”

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Woman who bought quirky and original Fiat 500 passes 11 others driving it back from garage

A QUIRKY woman who bought a Fiat 500 to prove her individuality drove past 11 similar cars while taking it home, it has emerged.

Nikki Hollis chose the retro-styled hatchback as a reflection of her unique personality, only to discover quite a lot of other people had the exact same idea.

She said: “I’m a real individual, so I couldn’t bear the thought of getting a normal-looking car like stupid, boring people have.

“It was between this and a Mini Cooper, but I went for a Fiat 500 because it feels like I’m driving a Smeg fridge.

“I got the prettiest model in sky blue because I’m wild and free, a bit like the sky or whatever.

“It is interesting that there seem to be so many similar-looking cars on the road today, but that’s probably because all the Fiat 500 drivers are like a secret society of very interesting people and they’ve all come out to greet me.”

She added: “Still, I can’t wait to show all my friends. I bet they’ve never seen a car like it.”