ATTRACTIVE teachers will get a break from being wanked about by teenagers during the long summer holidays.
The end of term means that hot, mostly female, teachers will no longer be the stars of implausible masturbatory fantasies in which desirable professional women have sex with teenage bellends in PE cupboards.
Geography teacher Ellie Shaw said: “I’m pretty sure ‘out of sight, out of mind’ will stop them thinking about me. Judging by their mock exams the dense bastards are incapable of remembering anything, even my tits.
“Am I being presumptuous in thinking my pupils fancy me? I don’t think so. Not because I am objectively quite hot, but because teenage boys are basically disgusting buckets of bubbling hormones who’d have sex with a fridge if it had long hair.
“I suppose you could take the wanking as a compliment, but most compliments don’t force you to scroll through years of f**king Facebook photos in case there’s one of you in a swimsuit or a slightly tight top.”
Pupil Tom Booker said: “Miss Shaw is well fit. It’s hard to say what I like about her most – her face, her amazing figure, those tight skirts she wears. But I think what sets her apart from most women is that she’s three-dimensional.
“It wouldn’t surprise me if I’m still masturbating over her in my 30s or 40s, long after leaving school. I suppose you never forget a teacher who inspired your love of wanking.”
