Good-looking groups of friends unable to sustain conversation

GROUPS of people who socialise together because they are all attractive run out of conversation very quickly, it has emerged.

Researchers found that ‘hot’ people with ‘hot’ friends engage in shared activities such as standing next to each other, taking group photos and saying ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “They do have brief conversations about body hair removal, but mostly they just stare into space.”

He added: “Some good-looking friendship groups often include a token ‘funny one’ who is fat.

“This can extend conversations for up to three minutes, but the less attractive one is essentially a decoy designed to show the group has depth of character.

“Never forget, all good-looking people are evil.”

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Last year’s Big Brother contestants still in the house

THIS year’s Big Brother contestants have discovered their predecessors have been trapped in the house for the last nine months.

The launch of the 15th series saw new housemates enter the Elstree compound to be confronted with the insane, emaciated survivors of the 14th series.

A Channel 5 source said: “Like everyone else, the very second the last  show had finished, we completely forgot about them.

“They’d been starved of food, but more importantly they were starved of attention. They were all dressed as clowns.”

Meanwhile, this year’s contestants insisted it will not happen to them because they are special.