Monday, 8th March 2021

Half-term 'over'

THE half-term ‘holiday’ has ‘finished’ and children are going ‘back to school’, their dead-eyed parents have confirmed. 

The week’s ‘break’, which gave families the chance to ‘spend some time together’ ‘for a change’, has now ‘concluded’ with school-aged children ‘returning to learning’.

Father-of-three Martin Bishop said: “Yes. Apparently it’s over.

“I must admit it was a struggle managing them at times, what with me not being able to get any time off, and it being freezing cold and pissing down throughout, and everything being closed, and it having been like this for 11 f**king months now.

“Of course they’ve enjoyed seeing their grandparents, on Zoom, and spending time with their friends, on Zoom, and playing out in the garden, on Minecraft.

“But now they’re back at school I can focus on other stuff, like getting them connected to their live lessons, and helping them with their maths, and photographing and uploading all their work, and minor little tasks like that.

“What a marvellous week it’s been. I’m sure they feel as rested and relaxed as I do. Roll on Easter.”