Hammock incredibly stressful

A MAN who used a hammock has described it as the least relaxing experience of his life.

Tom Logan, from Bristol, used the hammock while staying at a five-star resort in the New Forest and revealed he still wakes up screaming.

He said: “It was strung between two trees and from the moment I clambered in, this contraption lurching drunkenly beneath me, my heart rate was through the roof.”

Logan said he spent  20 minutes lying absolutely motionless before a waiter handed him a daiquiri and it got much worse.

He added: “It proved impossible to get the drink to my mouth without shifting my weight so dangerously I risked being catapulted into the air or bound up like a caterpillar in a chrysalis.

“That was me for more than an hour, until I got a cramp and sat forward suddenly, spilling sticky booze everywhere and dumping myself on the floor with one leg still caught, like a trapped poacher.

“I eventually manged to free myself by clawing at the bare earth at which point I got back in and it started all over again.”

Office workers visiting the bathroom just for something to do

MOST office toilet breaks are merely for the sake of variety, it has emerged.

Sales co-ordinator Emma Bradford said: “It’s nothing to do with bodily functions. It’s just a change of scenery, even though it’s just toilet scenery.

“If there’s nobody else in there I don’t even go in a cubicle. I just look in the mirror for a bit and maybe put the hand dryer on.

“I do that roughly every 45 minutes.”

Call centre operative Stephen Malley also uses his offices’ disabled toilet as a leisure destination: “I’m not disabled but the seat has better padding than the normal toilet and you have a room to yourself.

“It’s like the work equivalent of visiting a theme park. Sometimes I turn the taps on and off, off and on.”