Hammock incredibly stressful

A MAN who used a hammock has described it as the least relaxing experience of his life.

Tom Logan, from Bristol, used the hammock while staying at a five-star resort in the New Forest and revealed he still wakes up screaming.

He said: “It was strung between two trees and from the moment I clambered in, this contraption lurching drunkenly beneath me, my heart rate was through the roof.”

Logan said he spent  20 minutes lying absolutely motionless before a waiter handed him a daiquiri and it got much worse.

He added: “It proved impossible to get the drink to my mouth without shifting my weight so dangerously I risked being catapulted into the air or bound up like a caterpillar in a chrysalis.

“That was me for more than an hour, until I got a cramp and sat forward suddenly, spilling sticky booze everywhere and dumping myself on the floor with one leg still caught, like a trapped poacher.

“I eventually manged to free myself by clawing at the bare earth at which point I got back in and it started all over again.”

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Office workers visiting the bathroom just for something to do

MOST office toilet breaks are merely for the sake of variety, it has emerged.

Sales co-ordinator Emma Bradford said: “It’s nothing to do with bodily functions. It’s just a change of scenery, even though it’s just toilet scenery.

“If there’s nobody else in there I don’t even go in a cubicle. I just look in the mirror for a bit and maybe put the hand dryer on.

“I do that roughly every 45 minutes.”

Call centre operative Stephen Malley also uses his offices’ disabled toilet as a leisure destination: “I’m not disabled but the seat has better padding than the normal toilet and you have a room to yourself.

“It’s like the work equivalent of visiting a theme park. Sometimes I turn the taps on and off, off and on.”