I would definitely spend this free ten grand on sensible shit, says 24-year-old

A 24-YEAR-OLD has applauded a new plan to give her £10,000 and promised not to waste it on drugs, holidays, and drugs on holiday. 

Helen Archer of Manchester greeted a report on inter-generational fairness which suggested that 25-year-olds get a £10k windfall by swearing she would definitely buy a mortgage or whatever. 

She said: “Stimulating the economy is the responsible thing to do, right? Even if it is technically the black economy. It all trickles down. 

“Using it to pay off debts, well, I’d like to. Ideally that’d be what I’d do. But that’s doing nothing for the UK’s struggling high street where I’ve seen these boots I like. 

“Buying a house just locks that money up, so that’s selfish. A car? That’s pollution and killing the earth. What else do old people like? Gardening equipment? 

“These tabs on my browser open at full moon beach parties in Goa? That’s, ah, research. Anyway, do I get the money now or what?”

68-year-old Bill McKay said: “They can’t take my savings and give them to feckless youth. I need this money for Brexit.”