Little bastard immune to good parenting

A TODDLER threw a tantrum purely because he is a little bastard, it has emerged.

Three-year-old Tom Logan had a meltdown in Sainsbury’s, causing fellow shoppers to blame his mother Alice for not raising him correctly.

However it has since emerged that the toddler is just a little bastard, and nothing his mother can do will fix that.

Alice Logan said: “I try my level best not to indulge him excessively, to create a stable and loving home environment with clear structure and routines.

“It’s just that his personality type is ‘little shit’. I still love him because I am genetically programmed to do so, but there it is.

“Having a kid is a lottery.”

Parenting expert Emma Bradford confirmed that Tom Logan is worse than the evil doll Chucky in the Child’s Play films.

She said: “Some children are just little shits by their nature. It’s unfair that the blame is always shifted onto the parents.

“Not having been alive for very long doesn’t excuse you if you throw yourself on the floor and holler because you want a sugary thing. Sort it out.”

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Men outraged at sexy woman giving away free naked pictures

MEN have expressed disgust at a sexy woman giving away nude photos of herself for nothing. 

Joining the chorus of revulsion at Kim Kardashian’s latest nude selfies, men have condemned the shallow cynicism of an attractive woman who freely distributes pictures of her large breasts. 

Nathan Muir of Durham said: “If only we could turn back the clock to a time when nude photographs of a hot celebrity were not available to anyone for free, in their pocket, at any time. 

“It’s so terrible, living now. I don’t know how we bear it.”

46-year-old plumber Bill McKay said: “It’s a sad indictment of this shallow modern age, tainted as it is by an unquenchable thirst for celebrity at its most superficial level, that you cannot escape big, bouncy breasts.

“I’ve been thinking about how we can stop it but I’ve got nothing.”