A MAN who wants to get back at everyone from school has surprised no-one by joining the police.
25-year-old Martin Bishop, who was teased as a boy because of his funny-shaped ears, is planning to use his new-found powers for revenge against his former schoolmates and society in general.
He said: “They can say what they want about me, I’m a policeman now.
“Which means I can come round to your house, plant a bag of weed and stick you in a cell forever.
“Let’s see who wants to be a smart-arse on Facebook now then.”
Bishop confirmed that he is particularly interested in former schoolmate Norman Steele, who used to call him ‘Trophy Head’ because of his ears: “I’ll be outside that bastard’s house every night in the squad car, eating crisps while watching and waiting for him to put a foot wrong.”
Former schoolmate Tom Booker said: “Martin was one of those people who always took it to heart when people took the piss.
“I suppose he was always going to be either a copper or a football hooligan. At least this way he gets a salary so fair play to him I suppose.”