THE Daily Mail has sacked long-time editor Paul Dacre and replaced him with the philosopher Alain de Botton.
Owner, Viscount Rothermere, said: “I read Alain’s website, the Philosophers’ Mail, and just loved it. Alain is a gentle, thoughtful human, whereas Paul Dacre’s a lunatic who frightens me each and every day.
“Alain will turn the Daily Mail into something wise and beautiful that radiates truth, intelligence and, most importantly, love.
“And, best of all, Alain doesn’t want any money. He just wants five minutes a day to look at a tree.
“Unlike Dacre, who is a greedy bastard.”