Man politely asks that you respect his grotesque, idiotic opinions

A 31-year-old man has politely asked that you please respect his crazy, utterly idiotic opinions.

Tom Logan insists the world would be a slightly better place if he gave you the space to explain your perfectly reasonable opinions and you let him demonstrate the full length and width of his insanity.

Logan said: “Is that too much to ask? Can’t we simply be civil? The fact that I may be  completely mental doesn’t mean we can’t have a discussion.

“We don’t have to agree with each other to get along. We just need to acknowledge that your ‘opinion’ is different from my elaborate Jewish conspiracy theory.

“And that’s okay.”


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Woman books vague suggestion of possibility of train seat reservation

A WOMAN has booked a train seat reservation online, safe in the knowledge that it is probably meaningless.

Kate Morris was invited to select a seat reservation when purchasing overpriced tickets.

She said: “It’s charming when the website pretends that I could actually get a seat reservation. We both went through the dance of selecting the type of chair, choosing which way it faces and whether or not I want a table.

“For a second I almost believed its empty promises.”

A Network Rail spokesman said: “Part of the thrill of travelling with us is that you just don’t know whether you will be standing, sitting or crouching next to the bogs.”

Morris’s train was later cancelled due to a shortage of something.