Man does not like cycling

A 31-YEAR-OLD man does not like cycling, it has been claimed.

Friends of Julian Cook had believed his reluctance to adopt pedal-based transport was due to safety fears.

But Cook said: “I’ve been on a bike a couple of times in the past decade and to be honest I found it to be a pain in the arse.

“I don’t like the ‘balancing’ element, which you don’t get with a car, I hate swallowing flies and also going up hills is really hard.”

Cook’s workmate Norman Steele said: “When I told him about the new cycling laws in the Highway Code I thought he’d be overjoyed, but he looked like he was going to hit me.

“I refuse to accept that he doesn’t like cycling. Everyone likes cycling, it’s so great.

“Maybe he is a supernatural being sent by the cycling god to test my faith.”

Colleague Susan Traherne said: “I’ve never met a man who doesn’t like cycling. I’m not sure whether I find it sexy or repellent. Certainly it is against nature.”

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