A MAN has realised he was singing a sexually explicit song about extreme mental anguish while at work.
Administrator Wayne Hayes found himself unconsciously singing Fuck the Pain Away by Peaches as he did things like filing invoices and watering pot plants.
Hayes said: “I’m not sure why I picked that particular track because I wasn’t feeling any more depressed and alienated than usual.
“However I’ve got a nasty feeling Gavin from sales overheard the bit about ‘sucking on my titties like you wanted me’ because he ran off when I said ‘hi’ in the toilets.
“I’m sure I was only singing it because it’s incredibly catchy, not because it subconsciously reflects my feelings about working in this suffocating void of boredom and petty spite.
“Seriously, I’m fine here. I totally agree with my girlfriend and parents that giving up my band to get a proper job printing out purchase orders was the right thing to do.”
Logan has resolved to stop singing at work, but today found himself quietly chanting “Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me” while ordering some Post-It notes.