THE media has expressed grief at the death of the last Briton capable of being shocked by newspaper articles and TV programmes.
Hundreds of journalists and TV producers attended the funeral of Mary Fisher, who died at the age of 104 after a lifetime of being shocked by tabloid outrage and sex on TV.
Daily Express journalist Nikki Hollis said: Mary was the only person who felt genuine dismay after reading my highly critical stories about Prince Harry getting pissed.
With Mary gone, theres no point to my life anymore. This morning I looked at my latest article about Miley Cyrus and put my head on my keyboard and wept.”
TV executive Tom Logan said: Mary was a product of a more innocent time when viewers didnt realise they were being deliberately suckered into watching shows like Gay Men Bum In A Box.
Her generation sacrificed hours of their lives generating free publicity for us by writing in to complain about gratuitous sex scenes in mediocre dramas.
Now I might have to start commissioning shows that people actually want to watch on their own merits, which is difficult and expensive.
Sorry, Im getting a bit choked up now.
At the funeral service, actor Keith Allen read out of excerpts of a letter Mary had sent to his agent, imploring him to stop taking drugs on TV and think of your health.
A visibly moved Denise Van Outen also paid her respects while wearing a PVC catsuit.