MEN across Britain have begun their grim annual duty of buying flowers.
Florists have reported being swamped by long queues of forlorn, awkward-looking men clutching £10 notes.
Tom Logan said: “This is the day I dread most when I have to make a modest, thoughtful gesture for the woman I love more than life itself.
“I’d climb any mountain, cross every sea for my wife, but I do I really have to stand here for half an hour to pay a tenner for something that’s already dead?”
Florist Emma Bradford said: “You can see the love in their eyes, mixing with a healthy amount of fear and resentment.
“I like to drag them around the whole shop looking at hyacinths and freesias just to make the most of my power.”