A MIDDLE class couple have hired a tutor for their kids as part of their status-obsessed ego trip.
The affluent Ryans, who are obsessed with home extensions and organic wine, are paying a graduate to do their kids’ homework and also so they can tell everyone they know about it.
Carolyn Ryan said: “Although we can’t afford actual servants a tutor is the next best thing.
“We were over the moon when our son’s teacher confirmed he was a lazy little sod, which justified the extra expense of private tuition.”
She added: “The thought of having ‘you can’t get the help these days’ type conversations in Waitrose when he fails his GCSEs for the third time makes my heart swell with excitement. “
Tutor Joseph Turner said: “I routinely sleep in until lunchtime, then google the set texts I’m supposed to know on the way to work in neighbourhoods where I can’t afford to live.
“So, yes, paying for a tutor is definitely worth it”.