ENRAGED people may be forced to return to their slightly depressing lives unless they can find a new cause, it has emerged.
The angry mob, who had been shouting a lot outside a building they believed was the site of a trial but was actually the remains of a Courts Furniture Superstore, have been enjoying being definitely the goodies for once.
Mob member Tom Logan said: “I’m not saying I like it when awful things happen, but it does sort of make things reassuringly simple.
“It’s nice when we’re all agreed on something for a change.
“Looking around at the other mob members, I’m fairly certain I have in the past hit several of them with big bits of wood while drunk. Yet here we all are, united by our common humanity.”
He added: “Being in an angry mob is a really good social experience. I’ve swapped email addresses with other mob members and we will definitely stay in touch.
“But I don’t think our current cause will last forever. And if we don’t figure out a new one soon it’ll be back to standing outside Wetherspoons in the afternoon while looking menacing.”
Mob veteran, Bill McKay, said: “Apparently someone called Darth Vader is building something called a Death Star. And he thinks he can get away with it just because he’s a fictional character.
“So we could go and shout at that, in outer space.”
He added: “Regardless of whether you think it’s a good idea to spend your afternoons yelling ‘string him up by the balls’ while burning down a paediatrician’s house, at least we have the courage of our our convictions.”