‘Mum hair’ actually designed to ward off men

MIDDLE-AGED mothers get that ‘interesting’ short haircut so men will leave them alone, it has been confirmed.

Mary Fisher, 49, said: “I’m not an idiot, I am fully aware that my hair is now identical to that of a dinner lady. Clearly you all thought I’d lost it because of ‘hormones’.

“Actually I just wanted divorced men to stop hitting on me in the supermarket. I think this sends out a pretty strong signal.

“To hell with all this ‘Milf’ nonsense, I’ve worked hard and now I want to sit around reading Rose Tremain books without anyone trying to fuck me.”

The inevitable short haircut, which is commonly described as ‘nifty’, ‘different’ or ‘youthful-looking’, typically happens to mums at around the time they get really into gardening.

54-year-old Emma Bradford said: “It’s like the female equivalent of disappearing into a shed.

“Once we’ve made the decision, us mums go to the hairdresser, nod grimly and say ‘do it’.

“It’s a big deal, almost like a tribal rite of passage. Once you’ve got ‘mum hair’ there’s no turning back.”