Neither casual friend going to break first and add the other on Facebook

A PAIR of friendly acquaintances are locked in stalemate over adding each other on Facebook, it has emerged.

Julian Cook and Tom Booker know each other through mutual friends and while they are definitely mates on a casual basis, neither is going to ‘break’ and add the other.

Cook said: “I know him from the pub so it’s not like we desperately need to be on Facebook together, though it does seem strange seeing us both commenting on other friends’ status updates like two foreign countries locked in a complex diplomatic battle.

But am I fuck going to be the one who gives in and adds him first. I’m not his bitch.”

Booker added: “I don’t need to see what memes he likes, but it might be nice to be offered the chance.

But no fucking way am I going to be the one who adds him first. If he wants to add me, he knows where I am.”

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Daily Express reader surprised no one else has thought of nuking Scotland

LAUNCHING Trident missiles at Scotland is the most sensible way to end the row over independence, according to a Daily Express reader.

Express fan Roy Hobbs is amazed that military planners have not realised they could easily crush the Scottish independence movement with a small nuclear war.

Retired factory supervisor Hobbs said: “I’m not suggesting wiping out all of Scotland – that would be insane – just destroy a few places like Dundee as a warning.

“However if Sturgeon carries on with her nonsense we’d reduce all their cities to piles of radioactive rubble, particularly the rebel headquarters, Edinburgh.

“I can’t believe our so-called ‘top brass’ haven’t done it already. Of course millions would die, but there’d be enough survivors to start rebuilding and they wouldn’t have any silly ideas about independence next time.

“Either we nuke Scotland now and save the United Kingdom, or we’ll have to put up with Sturgeon on the news every night moaning about something or other.”

Hobbs has also advocated the use of nuclear weapons against Raqqa, Brussels and the London Borough of Islington to “get Corbyn”.