A TYPICAL night out in a Welsh town is the best way to prepare yourself for Armageddon, it has been confirmed.
Emma Bradshaw, 31 from Hatfield, visited a friend in Swansea on a Saturday night and returned home from the experience mentally scarred but able to withstand viral outbreaks, pestilence and probably nuclear war.
Bradshaw said: “It seemed to be a dress rehearsal for total societal collapse.
“The streets were littered with debris, gangs were roaming around starting fights, bodies were lying on the pavements. The police were there but didn’t get out of their riot vans and I can’t really blame them.”
Bradshaw added: “They say the only things to survive a nuclear holocaust would be cockroaches, but the pissed up mentalists of Swansea on a Saturday night will be the ones repopulating the earth.
“Enjoy the rest of your weekend.”