Northerner attempts to pay on London bus with correct change

A NORTHERNER visiting London has caused chaos after attempting to pay a bus driver with exact change. 

Carlisle resident Tom Booker was enjoying a three-day trip to London when he found himself in a dispute with a bus driver over what those round shiny things in his hand were.

Booker said: “I’m no yokel. I know you need the right money on buses these days. And I wasn’t being cheated out of 65p.

“But I couldn’t see that little metal dish you put the money in anywhere, and the driver kept barking ‘contactless’ at me even though I wasn’t even trying to touch him.

“I held out a fiver, assuming the fare had gone up, but that only seemed to aggravate him more. Finally the woman behind me muttered ‘fucksake’, did something that beeped and he waved me on.

“I still don’t know the trick of it. Maybe it’s some secret London code? Either way, I can’t wait to get back on the tube where I can use my Travelcard.

Commuter Emma Bradford said: “The poor bastard was holding the whole bus up so I tapped him through with my debit card. We all winced when he left cheerfully thanking the driver.

“It’s painful how ignorant these idiots are of how to do things in London. Where is ‘Carlisle’, anyway? Wales?”