A MAN has realised it is June shortly followed by July which means he will have to go to loads of fucking weddings.
Tom Logan was horrified after checking the calendar and realising how many days his wife had marked off that will be incredibly special for other people but extremely tedious for him.
Office worker Logan said: “What about my special days? Special days like sitting in the pub on Saturday getting pissed and watching a football match I’m not that interested in.
“Instead I’ll be wearing a suit, making inane small talk with people I don’t know and having to pretend the whole concept of marriage is a good idea.
“There’ll be weddings that are impossible to get to, weddings full of the groom’s dickhead rugby mates and ones with a naff theme like ‘Hollywood’ where you get popcorn at the reception.
“It’s going to be hell, and half the fuckers will probably just get divorced anyway.”
Logan’s wife Sarah said: “You can probably see why I don’t say ‘my wedding day’ when people ask me what was the happiest day of my life.”