Outrage as Cameron prefers to chat to people with whom he has something in common

DAVID Cameron has provoked fury after admitting he prefers chatting to people who are even vaguely like him.

The prime minister revealed he does most of his shopping at Waitrose because the customers are ‘more talkative’, even though it does tend to focus on precision-engineered sausages.

Labour immediately attacked Mr Cameron insisting he should shop in Asda or Tesco and pretend to like people who hate his guts and are never going to vote for him.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said:  “What Mr Cameron is really telling us is that when he goes to Waitrose he can understand what people are saying.

“Their diction is not littered with glottal stops and regional slang. And they talk about books and venison burgers instead of television programmes and crisps.”

Waitrose shopper Jane Thompson said: “I don’t remember John Prescott spending a huge amount of time in Waitrose. I’m pretty sure he preferred to buy his greasy, beige food in familiar surroundings.”

Asda shopper Martin Bishop added: “I don’t like talking to posh people because I think they’re pretentious arseholes. So I’d prefer it if they stayed in their own supermarkets.”

Mr Cameron said: “Why do I have to like everybody? Some of you are absolutely dreadful – and you know you are.

“Can I just go to the shops and chat to people without it becoming a big fucking deal? Jesus Christ.”

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What about Keith f*cking Richards? Nigella asks America

NIGELLA Lawson has asked the US how come she gets barred but Keith Richards wanders in and out like he owns the place.

The TV chef was stopped from boarding a flight to Los Angeles because she admitted to taking cocaine, prompting her to ask customs officials ‘if they were out of their fucking minds’.

She added: “Keith Richards would have regarded the amount of cocaine I took as invisible. It would not have registered on his consciousness. He’s probably still got that much stuck up there and he just can’t be bothered to have it removed.

“And yet he has a house in America. I implore you, look at him and look at me and then explain to me what the fuck you are talking about.”