Pork pies and tartan blanket turn binge-drinking into lovely picnic

A GROUP of people were able to drink heavily outdoors without stigma by taking a small amount of food and calling it a picnic, they have revealed.

Donna Sheridan and friends transformed getting hammered in a park into a delightful summer outing with just a few extra items.

Office administrator Sheridan said: “With a little effort it’s actually quite easy to turn 48 cans of lager, eight bottles of prosecco and a litre of Tesco vodka into a picnic.

“I threw in some mini pork pies, a multipack of Quavers and a pack of muesli breakfast bars I’ve never felt sufficiently motivated to eat. It really was a marvellous spread.

“Steve brought a tartan travel blanket, and as we got stuck into the Stella in the sunshine I could easily imagine we were the Famous Five.

“And al fresco dining really does give you an appetite. I must have had 12 glasses of Banrock Station before I passed out and ended up with a tan on just one side of my face.

“We’ll definitely do it again. Next time I think I’ll bring brie. And tequila.”