Relationship enters ‘what shall we have for dinner?’ phase

A COUPLE have recognised that their conversation is now mainly about what to eat for their tea.

Tom Logan and Eleanor Shaw moved in together six months ago, beginning what they thought would be an exciting and romantic life together but which soon dwindled into one looping conversation about what to cook.

Logan said: “We used to send each other sexy texts during the day, but now every message says ‘What do you fancy for dinner?’ apart from the odd one about next door’s cat shitting on the patio.

“And then we continue the conversation at home, with each of us saying ‘I don’t mind’ over and over until we get so hungry and cross that we just phone Dominos for the third time that week.

“To be honest, I’d rather live by myself again. At least then I could eat toast every night without someone making annoying comments about my fucking five a day.”

Shaw said: “I used to wish that he’d greet me at the door wearing nothing but a smile and ravish me for hours.

“Now my wildest fantasy is for him to make a pasta bake without asking me about it first.”