SOUTHERN Rail has greeted commuters returning from the Christmas break with a menacing cackle.
The fake train operator said: “So you’ve had a quiet time with the family, having some nice food and drink and watching a bit of telly, have you?
“Well, this morning your train’s only two carriages long and it’s going to terminate outside a field. Ha!
“And did we mention it’s going to cost you even more this year to go slightly faster than an injured cow? Eight times the rate of inflation has a nice ring to it, don’t you think? Happy New Year.”
Commuter Nikki Hollis said: “Just after midnight on New Year’s Day a brick came through the window with the amended Croydon to Victoria timetable wrapped around it.
“When I looked outside there was someone from Southern grinning at me and giving me the finger.”