Genuinely puzzled Keith Richards survives 2016
ROLLING Stones legend Keith Richards has expressed his genuine surprise at surviving 2016.
As much-loved celebrities died at an alarming rate, Richards revealed his initial paranoia quickly turned into acceptance and resignation.
He said: “By the end of March I just assumed my demise was imminent.
“The thing is, I feel great, so I reckoned it would have to be something spectacular, like being flattened by a falling piano, or being mauled by a cheetah.
“I spend a lot of time with cheetahs. You don’t need to know why.”