ONLY two things this year could properly be classed as ‘good’, it has been confirmed.
The Institute for Studies looked for some nuggets of positivity in 2016 after such a freakish shit show of a year.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Brexit, the US election, dead celebrities, the rise of the far right: you know the fucking drill. Trying to find something good in all that is like trying to find something good on Netflix.
“There was that brief moment of hope when Nigel Farage quit UKIP, but then he kept popping up again every five minutes like an unflushable turd.
“So what we’ve narrowed it down to is: pandas are no longer endangered and an old lady in Huddersfield found a pound coin at the back of a drawer.
“Of course ‘good things’ happened to Andy Murry, Mo Farah etc, but the old lady in Huddersfield needed the money and is not a professional show off.”
He added: “It could be that bad things happen every year but we never used to go collectively berserk about it on social media.
“But maybe that’s just me being stupidly optimistic.”