School trip costs how f**king much?

A SCHOOL trip to somewhere not even far away costs they-are-taking-the-fucking-piss, parents have confirmed.

The trip to the Deep Sea Adventure aquarium would cost an ordinary family around £25 but the school trip works out at three times more just to look at some fish.  

Parent Nathan Muir fumed: “I’ve been to that aquarium. They have a special price for school parties. Excellent.

“I know they’ve got to get there, but they’re not hiring the Rolling Stones’ tour bus. It’s just some fucking coach where the seats are still sticky from the last kid’s Capri-Sun.

“What’s the extra cash for? Worksheets? Are they going to some VIP area where you can get a lapdance from a penguin?

“I could take the day off work and drive there myself. Then I could spend the afternoon swigging Moët & Chandon in the cafe and still have money spare.”

Muir added: “And I’ll have to give them a tenner spending money to blow on cuddly manta rays and scented rubbers from the shop. Does the school hate me?”