Search for end of Sellotape enters second day

THE search for the end of a roll of Sellotape has entered its 25th hour.

Bill McKay reported the end of the tape lost yesterday morning evening and hopes are fading that it will be found.

Volunteer Nikki Hollis said: “We thought we’d got it around 3am. Everybody cheered. But it was just one of those light bits that you can see through the top layers.”

An increasingly fraught McKay said: “They say if you don’t find it in the first 24 hours you might never find it. We’re not even sure what we’re looking for.

“It could be a perfectly straight end camouflaged against the rest of the roll. Or it could be one of those triangle bits that happens when you bite it instead of cutting.”

Volunteers expressed hope that it would be found, but remained realistic about their chances. McKay has asked for donations to keep the search going.

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England really not like in the brochures, discovers tourist

A SPANISH tourist visiting England for the first time has confirmed it is not remotely like the brochures.

Juan Esterel, from Valencia,  said: “It’s much more grey and dirty. And there seems to quite a lot of odorous mud.

“Meanwhile, many of the people are less than delightful.”

During his three week trip Esterel was subjected to baffling homophobic epithets in Chester, ate a tepid, shiny brown sausage in York and was chased down an alleyway way in Cambridge by a gang of young Conservatives dressed as Sebastian Flyte from Brideshead Revisted.

He added: “It seems I may have given the English tourist board the benefit of the doubt.”

After his disappointing visit to England, Esteral said he is now looking forward to the romantic, excrement-free cobblestone streets of Paris.