Seemingly normal couple into board games

AN OUTWARDLY normal couple are into board games about farming and diseases.

Emma Bradford and Tom Logan revealed their bizarre fetish for moving colourful counters around after inviting friends over for dinner.

Bradford’s workmate Nikki Hollis said: “We’d had a nice normal evening and were just enjoying some cheesecake when Tom asked if we were up for a bit of ‘Settlers’.

“I thought this was just a word for something socially acceptable like group sex, but then he pulls out this board game about a place called Catan which is apparently made of hexagons.

“He started explaining how it was based on trading grain and ore to expand your colony. I thought ‘we have to get the fuck out of here’.

“I pretended to need the toilet and escaped through the window.”

However Tom Logan said: “It is now cool to like complicated board games. Take Pandemic for example, a turns-based game where players collaborate to prevent the spread of a virus by co-ordinating scientific resources. Sounds great, right?

“Pop round for a game, it only takes about half a day.”




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Grown man dressing like Prince George

A 34-YEAR-OLD man is wearing the same outfits as three-year-old Prince George of Cambridge, his shocked colleagues have reported.

Joseph Turner, a senior compliance manager at a Birmingham bank, first attended the office wearing red velvet shorts, a navy cardigan with mother-of-pearl buttons, knee-high socks and black shoes with buckles on Monday.

Turner said: “What? The girls all dress like Kate.

“I was looking for a style icon and I needed one without a beard or tattoos, when suddenly it occurred to me how crazy all the ladies are for the little fucker.

“My wardrobe’s full of frilly shirts, knitted tank tops with train designs, Breton sweaters and quilted coats with tartan linings, and believe me the chicks have noticed.

“Oh man I am going to get so much action.”

Colleague Carolyn Ryan said: “It’s sick, it’s wrong, he looks like a Victorian alpine climber who had his genitals removed so they didn’t interfere with the purity of his sport.

“But the magazines say he’s just the best thing ever so I suppose I’ll have to sleep with him.”