Sight of band setting up strikes fear into drinkers’ hearts

PUBGOERS were plunged into despair after realising a band was preparing to perform. 

Drinkers at the Rose & Crown in Bedford at first hoped the balding man in a Hawkwind T-shirt was just tidying up the microphones, until he brought a guitar case in.

Norman Steele said: “Oh God. Oh God, I’m right in the epicentre. There’s nowhere for me to run.

“Oh God, he’s saying ‘one-two’ into the mic as if addressing an empty Wembley Arena, not a pub full of people pretending they can’t see him.

“It’s too late for me, I’ve ordered a toastie. Save yourselves.”

Pub customers began sizing up their nearest exits, but many faced the agonising dilemma of abandoning practically untouched pints or suffering through the first few songs.

Landlord Bill McKay said: “We pride ourselves on organising live music whether people like it or not. And, generally speaking, they do not.”