Sunday, 16th May 2021

'Silent majority' never seem to shut the f**k up

PEOPLE who consider themselves to be part of the ‘silent majority’ seem to be forever shouting very loudly about snowflakes, libtards and traitors.

Although believing themselves to be stoically annoyed, they can constantly be heard moaning online, on Newsnight and in the Daily Mail.

Retired tyre salesman Norman Steele said: “For too long we have been hushed, apart from when we’re making a huge fuss about refugees, the liberal London elite and Black Lives Matter.

“We’ve also been incredibly vocal about Extinction Rebellion, the BBC, statues, Jeremy Corbyn, face masks, Remainers and Meghan Markle.

“But apart from all that stuff, we suffer in silence. Except when we bang on about how angry we are and make weird threats about starting wars to save our country from dark forces.

“Luckily I make those threats anonymously on Twitter so I never have to actually put my money where my mouth is.”

Steele’s wife Susan said: “The only time that miserable old bastard will be silent is when he’s dead. I’m quite looking forward to it.”