AN idealistic young spammer has become increasingly disillusioned with his profession.
25-year-old Tom Logan feels that bombarding random strangers with instantly ignored emails about dubious goods and services no longer gives him the job satisfaction it used to.
Logan said: “I used to get a real buzz from knowing I’d helped some insecure guy order a penis enlarger, or given a hard-up single mum the chance to win a genuine De’Longhi coffee machine.
“But recently I’ve started to get the feeling people don’t want to receive spam, even when I hack their email accounts to help them share the good news with all their friends.
“Spamming used to be exciting. Would anyone hand over actual money on the basis of a badly spelt email? Is anyone really arsed about test-driving the new Jeep Cherokee? How can you be owed compensation when you haven’t had an accident?
“But nowadays advanced spam filters just bin it in a microsecond. All that spam, lost in time, like tears in the rain.”
Logan said his disillusionment had increased after he revealed his career at a recent dinner party, causing fellow guests to attempt to stab him.
He added: “I’ll probably chuck it in and do something more worthwhile, like selling solar panels using an autodialler.”