Stop being melodramatic little twats, children told

CHILDREN have been told to take it down a few notches and stop being so bloody melodramatic.

Parents across the nation have told their offspring to stop making such a huge deal of everything from incredibly tedious playground events to seeing a bee.

Mum-of-three Nikki Hollis said: “Today my two-year-old started screeching like he was trying to cause an avalanche somewhere thousands of miles away.

“Why? There was a bit of sweet corn in his mashed potato. One tiny bit, but could he just pick it out? No. That would be too easy, wouldn’t it? Bloody drama queen.”

Dad-of-two Roy Hobbs agreed: “My five-year-old thinks it’s an earth-shattering event if her friend Katie isn’t friends with Liam anymore. Christ. Get a sense of perspective.

“Also she doesn’t like having her hair washed and screams like there’s a shark in the bath. Every. Single. Bath time. The neighbours must think we’re monsters.”

Neighbour Tom Booker said: “That’s OK. I have two melodramatic little shits of my own.”