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Teenage Boys To Be Taught How To Stop Yanking At It For Five Minutes

TEENAGE boys are to be given lessons in how to release the vice-like grip on their penises for five minutes and get some sleep.

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Cruise To Heal Beckham With Dianetic Mind Poultice

ENGLAND'S World Cup hopes were back on track last night after Tom Cruise said he could heal his friend David Beckham using nothing more than a simple Dianetic mind poultice.

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