A MAN who spent his school days drawing penises on textbooks believes children would benefit from being taught about Britain’s tax system.
Wayne Hayes reckons the national curriculum should include lessons on money management and basic economics, conveniently forgetting that he wasted time in classes by doodling crude representations of male genitalia.
He said: “You get taught loads of pointless shit in school like trigonometry and how many wives Henry VIII had. Unless you go to university or pub quizzes, you don’t need to know that stuff.
“Kids would be better off being taught about taxes instead. Yes, I would have been bored senseless by it and spent my time drawing dozens of dicks in my jotter, but maybe some valuable information will slip through subconsciously.
“Teachers could even liven it up by covering offshore accounts and Al Capone. Youngsters these days are all about the hustle and grind, so they’ll love to hear how they can make their TikTok fortunes go further like a gangster or Jacob Rees-Mogg.
“Failing that, children could look at my latest pay cheque and get a taste of the misery that awaits them. That should jolt them into taking it all in.”
He added: “Drawing the three little spunk droplets was always my favourite bit.”