Tradesmen’s earnings ‘only untaxed until they get to the pub’

BUILDERS’ cash-in-hand earnings only remain outside the tax system until they arrive at a place that sells beer, it has been claimed.

Plasterer Tom Logan said: “Whatever cash I might earn is going back into the system within half an hour, even less if we pass a boozer on the way home.

“I understand the tax on a pint of beer is something like 38%. Also crisps, pub pool tables and Status Quo songs on the jukebox are tax magnets, I’d imagine.”

Beer raises over £21 billion in taxes annually, most of it from men in overalls who are ‘winding down’ after a hard day’s tea-drinking.

Builder Stephen Malley said: “It’s not like we’re spending this money on cocktails in St Lucia like some non-domicile corporate fat cats.

“I’d like to think our beer duty is going back into the NHS, and will one day help to replace my swollen liver.”

He added: “I even urinate in customers’ sinks when they are out, just to save on the water usage associated with flushing toilets.”