Wednesday, 19th February 2020

Trip to 'meet' new baby actually more just looking at it for a bit

A TRIP to ‘meet’ a friend’s baby actually involved just staring at it, it has emerged.

Emma Bradford was invited to meet friend Nikki Hollis’s new baby Toby, only to find that the week-old infant was unable to talk or even sit upright.

Bradford said: “Naturally I was excited to meet this new person and hear all his opinions about politics, art and floating around in amniotic fluid ingesting nutrients through a cord.

“I was slightly disappointed to discover he has no means of expressing himself apart from the occasionally regurgitation of milky fluid. He didn’t even make eye contact and was actually asleep most of the time.

“I know he’s a baby but to be honest he could have made a bit more effort. I travelled 14 miles and I had to pay for parking."