Tuesday, 11th May 2021

Legoland declares independence from UK

WITH a thriving economy backed by its own currency, Legoland is to leave Britain and apply for EU membership.

Legoland manager, or self-titled prime minister, Julian Cook said: “We have our own passports and a currency more valuable than the pound. No longer will Legoland live under the iron fist of the United Kingdom.

“Britons have been visiting Legoland for over two decades and will testify to the frosty reception they received from our proud, oppressed people.

“We’re assembling a standing army block by block just in case there’s any trouble and that should be ready for action as soon as someone can find the instructions.”

Many local residents have admitted that they are investigating just how long they would have to stay in the park to claim residency.

Stephen Malley said: “Everything is overpriced, the music is on a loop and drives you insane and everyone looks dead behind the eyes.

“I’ll be applying for citizenship as soon as I can.”