A LECTURER is unable to tell if a poorly-written, shoddily-researched university essay is the moronic work of her student or AI.
English Literature professor Francesca Johnson was torn between believing the essay on Hamlet was so bad it was the result of a student who churned it out in an all-nighter, or was uncomprehendingly synthesised by ChatGPT.
She said: “This essay spends pages making indefensible assertions, has no familiarity with the play and all the sources it cites are made up. It could be either one of them.
“If it made compelling arguments, knew the major critics and came to cogent conclusions, it’d be a large language model for sure. Jack’s a lazy prick who hasn’t read anything longer than the comments on PornHub.
“But if he’s trained ChatGPT on examples of his dismal previous work, it could easily have come up with this shite. It is littered with M-dashes, normally a dead giveaway, but the rest of the punctuation’s a clusterf**k as well.
“This passage, ‘Hamlet makes Ophelia sleep in a cold bed of scorpions, so he is not good’ is clearly taken from Taylor Swift. But is man or machine the total idiot here? I just cannot tell.”
Browne said: “Francesca’s overthinking it. She should get ChatGPT to mark it and we can all go back to drinking in the pub. That’s higher education now.”
